Scene The First.
The Hare's Lair,
One Summer Evening.

The hare sat down and thought to himself,
as if, by some extrasensory means,
he might be thinking to another self:
"It really is about time that I wrote myself a rhyme;
"mind you, nothing out of the ordinary,
"nothing brainy, nothing sad, nothing scary;
"yet all I seem to do is curse,
"when what I need's a little verse.
"Maybe a stanza or two... or three, or four--

"--Hark! Who goes there? A knock on the door."

It was friendly Mr. Bear and wise old Mr. Owl;
the furry beast wore a vest, and the bird he wore a scowl.
The bird brought with him crackers, and the bear came bearing jam;
the two of them marched right in, and gave the door a slam.

"What's this?" said Mr. Owl, "thinking to yourself I see!"
"You wouldn't be caught doing that if you had been me."

"What right have you to barge in like this," queried the squinting hare,
"with such an enlarged ego, and such an ugly stare?
"Bringing in here crackers, and a smelly bear,
"you tell me what you're thinking, but really, I don't care."

"What's wrong with food?" asked Mr. Owl, "I just want to fill my belly;
"Mr. Bear has worked all day, and that's why he is so smelly;
"for your own information we just came to say 'good night';
"but now I'm really hungry-- I think we'll have a bite."

"That's right," said Mr. Bear, as he sat down on the couch,
"so have yourself a seat, and don't be such a grouch."
Slowly the hare sat down, folding his hands in his lap,
then he leaned his body backwards, as if to take a nap.

"You must excuse me," replied he, "I was just going to turn in."

"Well, I don't think you should," said the owl, with a fiendish grin,
"break out your playing cards, and your favorite gin,
"and don't look at me like that, because there's no such thing as sin."

"Oh, I say, Mr. Hare," added the bear, "Would you mind terribly if I took a bath?
"You won't be angry, will you, I need not incur your wrath?"

Exasperated, the hare moaned, "Through that door to the tub;
"But if and when you finish, you'd better give it a good scrub!"

"Sure thing," the bear said, as he let the water run,
"but I still forgot to ask you... are we having fun?"

"Certainly not!" snapped the hare, and I really need to rest.
"Couldn't you have visited the owl's own nest?"

"I'm afraid not," said the owl, with a whistle and a hoot,
"or down on our trousers we'd be covered with soot;
"the chimney's being cleaned, as is the furnace, to boot,
"so don't be such an ornery old coot."

"Really," the bear's voice echoed, from the bathroom wall,
"just relax, will you, and have yourself a ball.
"How about some gin and a tasty spread of jam?
"Everyone knows, it's better than a 'damn'."

As the hare thought to himself, about having too much fun,
the bear's water in the bath, it continued to run.
"Oh dear, it's getting so late into the night,
"and here I am standing, so unaware of my plight..."
The hare pondered in his mind about what decision he should make;
be it bad, or be it good, this was the action he did take:
"Very well," soon sighed the hare, "and speaking of that jam,
"I have some mustard pickles and some honey ham."

"Now you're talking ol' boy," said the owl with another grin,"
"--and where was it you said you kept your favorite gin?"

"I don't have any," replied the hare, "and I really must confess,
"I am simply not the swinger you may have heard of from the rest."

"That's okay," said the owl, "have yourself no fear,"
"the bear has brought with us a quarter keg of beer!"

"My word," replied the hare, "it is very nearly eleven,
"and as you two well know, I must be to work by seven;
"I also enjoy going for an early morning walk;
"I bring home a newspaper, and read the people's talk;
"I sit down at the table, and get myself some grub;
"then I take a shower, and give my teeth a scrub."

"That's all just well and good," the owl decried,
"but tomorrow you can delay,
"your office has been notified...
"I called them up today."

"That's very sporting of you," complimented the hare,
"It really is quite splendid, to see how much you care--"

"--No Trouble at all," said the owl, with his arm around the hare,
"tonight it's just you and me, the beer, and the bear;
"and it's such a lovely night, that honestly I think,
"we should go out on the patio and have ourselves a drink..."

Even now that things were starting, the hare wasn't wise at all;
and so the trio departed, out the corridor through the hall.